Welcome!
Not to fear, all pages are still here (links below), just an update.
Click here to continue to “About Me” page
6/25/08
I suppose a bit of background is necessary for today to make sense to all. I decided it would be a good idea to absolutely annihilate myself this summer. I am doing research, Physics 2, and an MCAT class in addition to lifting (obviously the most important – haha – really, it is). I really enjoy the research although I am not cut out to be a researcher, I dont like failing. I am again working with Dr. Larry Fromm and this year we are isolating single copy cloned mice muscle cells (that I grew on dishes) to study the effects of histone modifications. Then there is Physics 2, I should have taken it way earlier, but I decided to wait and take it with Rachel (my sister) because she hates it. We work well together and sometimes hypothesize crazy things very early in the morning. Lastly the MCAT review class is long, brain-draining, and an hour drive away! It is a love-hate relationship, but I must study and do well on the MCAT if I am to get into medical school next year!
So thats where the story starts, I am in Indianapolis on my way home from my MCAT class and traffic starts to slow down. Yippee, just what I want to do, sit in traffic. Of course I, along with everyone else stuck in traffic, is getting upset. Unfortunately, there was a legitimate reason for the slowed traffic, a rather nasty looking accident. Of course once everyone was past it, traffic sped back up, but I couldnt get it out of my head. It kept bringing up memories of my own accident just over 37 months ago (which I hadnt though about in months), I would try to forget about it, but the images kept creeping back into my head as I was driving, of that wreck and my own.
Once I got home, I turned on some random music I had on my computer and this song just happened to come up “Wasting the Dawn” by the 69 Eyes. Its actually kind of a dark song, but part of the chorus was “… but you can turn back time….” For whatever reason, that line stuck in my head and listened to that song over and over and over…
Of course my brain, wanting to think about anything other than MCAT review went straight to pondering that line. The my brain said to me, “If you could turn back time, would you?” Wow. The last time I had asked myself that question was when I was in the hospital, but then it was, “I wish I could turn back time.” Wow… wow… wow…
Would I? Dont get me wrong, I want to walk again… scratch that, I will walk again. But, if I could, would I go back in time and stay safe inside of my house that evening? I cant even begin to tell you how many times I have been around that question.
Oddly, the conclusion I have come to is a resounding no. I would not change that night, even if I had the power to. I have seen, been through, changed, loved, hated, and for once felt so much since that painful day over three years ago that I would not change one thing (well except the walking part, but would I have learned so much?). I have learned patience (well more than I had), love, sadness, and any number of other human feelings that I might not have learned otherwise. As cliche as it may sound, I feel like I am closer to understanding the meaning of life, if there truly is one.
This is a compliment to all of you!… to my family, friends, and beyond!!! People I have never met have rallied around me with support of all kinds! I feel so very lucky to have that and wish each and every person could feel it! I am terribly busy and wish I could update this everyday, but regardless of my neglect of regular updating this website still gets >100 hits a day!!
The opportunities I have had and things I have done!… Who knew a crippled kid in a wheelchair could do half this stuff? I certainly didnt think it was possible laying in the hospital bed what now seems ages ago!… live alone, attend college, lift weights, drive, work, etc. (I certainly didnt know someone in wheelchair could do that). Dont get me wrong, I would have had countless opportunities through the Air Force Academy, but never would I have been encouraged to compete and compete in Wheelchair Bodybuiling (who knew they even had it?) by Brad Warner and the Studio 22 crew, travel to Russia four times an experimental stem cell procedure, majored in Chemistry (I hated Chemistry in high school), hopefully go to medical school, research, the list goes on… (skydiving is next 
)
Lastly, I cant help but think there was a reason I was put in this place. For a reason to change the world. I might have it. I might have it.
In conclusion, I love what I have and am so very thankful for everyones love and support. I hope this entry made some sense and isnt just the ramblings of some madman!
impossibleisnothing.
-Jeff.
July 2, 2008 at 7:59 pm |
Jeff, the only reason you’re a chemistry major is because I am. And I know you want to be just like me. ;D
Love ya!
July 3, 2008 at 2:18 pm |
well you’ve done it again-made your mother cry. Only this time they are tears of joy! I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is for a mother (and father) to have to see their child struggle through something like this. We have seen you overcome so many obstacles and there is no doubt in my mind that you will continue to conquer each and every challenge placed before you. We are sooooo very proud of you.
Love,
mom
July 7, 2008 at 11:55 am |
Jeff…you continue to amaze me. I have known for years that God has great things in store for you. It’s awesome you won’t let anything get in the way of that! Continue to have a world-changing attitude. Continue to be everything you were designed to be. Continue seeking God for inspiration and direction in your life. And…continue to let Rachel help you in Chemistry!!
July 10, 2008 at 3:41 pm |
Hi Jeff!
You continue to amaze me. You certainly are an example to all of us especially those of us who complain about very minor things. You have accomplished so much. I know your whole family is so proud of you. Your grandmother Jane never fails to tell me what you are doing and how well you and Rachel are doing. She is a PROUD grandmother. Best Wishes from a former Cortland resident.
July 11, 2008 at 8:19 pm |
Dear Jeffrey,
I hadn’t checked your website in some time and tonight read your latest entry. Like your mother, I had tears as I read. You are amazing and I am so very proud of you — of what you are and what you have done and what you will do.
All my problems are very small in comparison to what you have handled with such dignity and strength and courage. And I know you will continue to deal with whatever life throws your way and you will do so with the wonderful Jeffrey touch you have for everything you do.
I still remember the day your dad called to tell me my first (and only and favorite!) grandson had just been born. I was so excited and delighted and that delight and joy have never faded. You have always made me proud and you certainly continue to do so.
I remember too sitting with you one afternoon at the rehab center in Indianapolis. We talked about this and that and you told me that day that you were going to have a good life — in or out of the wheelchair.
I remember thinking that I knew you would do just that. I thought too that your strength was getting all the rest of us through your accident and rehab. Yes, you had lots of love and help, especially from your parents and sister, but you brought strength to all of us too.
I know walking is the goal and I plan to be there cheering wildly when it happens — and we both believe it will — but you have done such a good job of building an independent and fruitful life in the period until that happens. (And then maybe we will both do that joint skydiving that you and I had planned for your Academy days — remember that? Let’s do it before I get too much older and they won’t let me on the airplane!)
For you, impossible is nothing. You show all of us the way to live life.
See you in a few weeks.
Love, Grandma Jane
July 14, 2008 at 3:37 pm |
Thanks for the update. Thankfully, Grandma Jane alerts me when you find the time to add something new. I just wanted you to know how impressed I am with your insight and the ability to put it into words so eloquently. You have been shown a side of life that most will not know and possibly couldn’t handle, but you are forging ahead and will make unbelievable contributions to our society.
I shared your update with my Sunday School class yesterday. They have been prayer warriors for you since the accident and are always asking about how you’re doing. Most of them also learned about stem cell treatments from Grandma Jane one evening when she presented her power point program for them. They too were very moved by your words.
Jeff, keep up the great spirit and hard work. It will pay off with unimaginable rewards for you and all who love you. I look forward to the next chapter in your life.
I’m also very thankful that you have Rachel to motivate you. Way to go Rach!!!!
Uncle John also sends a big thumbs up. He really enjoyed the visit a few weeks ago. Come back anytime.
Love, Aunt Carolyn and Uncle John
July 21, 2008 at 12:33 pm |
Dear Jeff:
Your blog continues to deliver just the kick-in-the-butt I need when the little things start to seem big, and the big things seem . . .well . . . impossible!
Your latest entry caught my attention first, because I spent 15 years stuck in Indy’s traffic, but second–and most importantly– because you are so amazing to see already see your life with such wise eyes.
Way back when on your visits to Grandma Jane’s, you were inspiring my now 11-year old with your skateboarding antics.
Now, you’re inspiring our whole family!
With warmest regards,
Susan Mayberry
July 25, 2008 at 3:56 pm |
Hey Jeff,
You probably don’t recall me but I coached track at Wapahani in the 2005 season. I was technically the girls coach but I coached sprints, hurdles, long jump. We had hoped to have you hurdle that year but you stuck with volleyball I believe.
Anyways, I have periodically checked your website because I was moved by all that you have gone through and how you have done since then. My husband was still coaching there the next year so I heard about you. I am currently in my fourth year of medical school at Wright State University in Dayton OH. Since I saw you are interested in going to medical school I wanted to let you know that if you would like any advice or have any interest in applying to Wright State/Boonshoft School of Medicine let me know and I will try to help anyway I can. I know the whole medical school application process is nerve-wracking and difficult at times and I love to help out fellow future doctors.
Linda Hinkelman
July 25, 2008 at 6:32 pm |
Jeff,
I check in to your website periodically to see how you are doing and to catch up on what’s going on in your life. I had not yet posted a comment, but this time I just had to remark.
I echo the sentiments of others who have rsponded to your latest entry: I am so proud of you. You have wisdom beyond your years and you are actively taking life by the proverbial horns.
I know people in their 40s, 50s, and beyond who have not yet wrestled so intensely with life’s issues as you have. And what’s more is that you have not only fought the good fight, but you have also come out of those struggles with even more resolve and clarity to maximize all that you have been created to be.
You totally rock–so rock on!!
Tons of love to you and your family from the entire Helm clan.
Julie
August 2, 2008 at 10:29 am |
Jeff,
You’ll never know the thoughts that continually come your way from North Carolina. People you don’t remember, but who remember you from Pfafftown Baptist… strangers to you but friends to me as I have updated those who ask about you… a care and love we have for you through Christian Brotherhood… People who are cheering for you.
You make us Kiger’s so proud as we read in awe of your accomplishments. You will change the world, of that I am sure. I know you’ve already changed my world.
I was at Emerald Isle in July and as always think about you… that little boy at the pool or that handsome young man on the tennis courts the last time we were there. I pray for another summer with your family at the beach. I can’t wait to see what is ahead for you. What a blessing you have been to me and whoa impressive muscles for sure as your mother sent pictures of your last competition. From the mother of a body-builder (Garrett), I know what it takes to get there. WOW
We love you so much,
Monica, Alan, Kemper & Garrett
August 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm |
Jeff,
I know God compares you to no one else in this world of over 6 billion ~ WOW! Only one you ~ in this time and this place ~ and I am so sure you are here for a reason!
Thank you for the update ~ you really do inspire us all.
Carol (a chemistry phob, but an Arnold fan)
August 4, 2008 at 5:58 pm |
Jeff,
Of course you can skydive. My brother because a paraplegic when he was 20 and since then has driven in drag races (Dodge Superbee) and has his pilot’s license. I have no doubt you can accomplish anything you set your heart on.
Julie ( a friend of Carol’s)
August 7, 2008 at 10:54 am |
Words of wisdom Jeffy.
August 14, 2008 at 10:44 pm |
It was great to hear how you are doing. I was searching the internet for pictures to go with a quote that I am using
“The starting point of achievement is desire. Weak desires produce weak results, just as a small amount of fire produces a small amount of heat.”
it is amazing that I came across your site. Take care of yourself. Good luck! And know that I wish you the best.
Mr. Bales
September 3, 2008 at 8:30 pm |
.There’s a very good reason you get over 100 hits a day, Jeff. You are a living inspiration… a source of light when everyone forgets how capable they actually are and how beautiful life can be. You see opportunities where others see closed doors, and you reach out to people and make sure you let them know how much you care…
I remember the day you told me about the accident. I hadn’t known, and we were talking on AIM as we did so, so much. I thought you were joking, at the time… And when I got to see you, I think that’s the first time I got a chance to connect with your sister and your family.. and you all as a unit have been so great to have in my life (even if our visits with each other are few and far between!).
You rock this world.
October 2, 2008 at 2:01 pm |
Wow! They are going to make a movie out of you someday Jeff! We’re glad to see that things are going so well for you. Good luck on the MCAT!
Tell your dad “White Rabbit”
Jane Smith